I've always been a loner.
Well, I might get a few frowns if I say that out loud. I am what would seem to be a friendly person who would get a conversation going from a rock. A tad bit chatty, one might say, but that's not what I mean. As much the centre of attraction that I am, I almost always find myself alone.
Well, I might get a few frowns if I say that out loud. I am what would seem to be a friendly person who would get a conversation going from a rock. A tad bit chatty, one might say, but that's not what I mean. As much the centre of attraction that I am, I almost always find myself alone.
I had a circle in school. I had a different one in pre university. A different one the first two years of college. A huge tangent from that the next two years. And out of college, I don't even know the people I hung out so many times with. What went wrong? No idea! Old friends say, I'm still the same but they can't believe the people I hang out with now are so very different from the ones I used to idle my time with. A man is known by the company he keeps. Is it really true?
I am... different. That might not be such a bad thing, but when you don't find anyone else in your circles who resonates with you on many levels, a BFF of sorts, you start to question things. Everyone does, at some point. I've been in 3 schools. Have had quite a varied experience in friend circles. And hung out with crowds of starkly different backgrounds and I found myself fitting in pretty well in them. But none of them were the one, you know?
I've hung out with the neighbours kids when we went off for catering work. I've hung out with my uncle's apprentices in his vaidik trade. I've hung out with rich kids from school, and labourers' kids nearby. I've hung out with schoolmates from all over Karnataka and collegemates from all over India. I've hung out with the Indrali Gang many a times, and with Europeans at the Department. And there have been the the international friends I've made here in Manipal. As thick as thieves. All good experiences. All varied experiences. All pleasant. But there is still something something missing...
Instead of rambling, let me try to find what I'm looking for. I'm looking for a story. I'm looking for a conversation that leads to it. I'm looking for an argument in that conversation that makes me question the story. I'm looking for a reason behind the argument that makes it all the more compelling. I'm looking for the person giving the reason, and I want to build the story with them.
There are few things that incite a feverish passion that make me yap non stop. I do want to stop but I do not want to be stopped with a "Saku Maraya," (Enough Man) or an "Aytu. Sari. Okay." I want to be told I'm wrong and told why. Or atleast an attempt to do so. I won't lie, there are a few who do it. Who actually put an effort into making the conversation two sided rather than accuse me of hijacking the conversation and put an end to my end of the story in a cruel twist of irony, but that is another story.
I went on a ride with friends a while ago. It was something that came out of the blue. I just happened to tag along with them and I'm pretty sure they'll get back to hanging out with or without me tomorrow, going about their own businesses. Not that I mind, I have my own commitments, but looking back at those 80 kilometers, and 4 hours I can't help but think how fresh the conversation was. We are good friends, no doubt but we don't hang out all that much. When we do, it's the best time ever. So many injokes and so many stories to narrate keeping the mood light and heads high.
Maybe that's the secret to a long, lasting friendship. Not getting to know each other too well, but knowing people well enough. Maybe, being the operative word. I'm still searching for answers. Let's see who benefits from this hitch-hike we call life...
It's one filled with trysts and clandestine...
I am... different. That might not be such a bad thing, but when you don't find anyone else in your circles who resonates with you on many levels, a BFF of sorts, you start to question things. Everyone does, at some point. I've been in 3 schools. Have had quite a varied experience in friend circles. And hung out with crowds of starkly different backgrounds and I found myself fitting in pretty well in them. But none of them were the one, you know?
I've hung out with the neighbours kids when we went off for catering work. I've hung out with my uncle's apprentices in his vaidik trade. I've hung out with rich kids from school, and labourers' kids nearby. I've hung out with schoolmates from all over Karnataka and collegemates from all over India. I've hung out with the Indrali Gang many a times, and with Europeans at the Department. And there have been the the international friends I've made here in Manipal. As thick as thieves. All good experiences. All varied experiences. All pleasant. But there is still something something missing...
Instead of rambling, let me try to find what I'm looking for. I'm looking for a story. I'm looking for a conversation that leads to it. I'm looking for an argument in that conversation that makes me question the story. I'm looking for a reason behind the argument that makes it all the more compelling. I'm looking for the person giving the reason, and I want to build the story with them.
There are few things that incite a feverish passion that make me yap non stop. I do want to stop but I do not want to be stopped with a "Saku Maraya," (Enough Man) or an "Aytu. Sari. Okay." I want to be told I'm wrong and told why. Or atleast an attempt to do so. I won't lie, there are a few who do it. Who actually put an effort into making the conversation two sided rather than accuse me of hijacking the conversation and put an end to my end of the story in a cruel twist of irony, but that is another story.
I went on a ride with friends a while ago. It was something that came out of the blue. I just happened to tag along with them and I'm pretty sure they'll get back to hanging out with or without me tomorrow, going about their own businesses. Not that I mind, I have my own commitments, but looking back at those 80 kilometers, and 4 hours I can't help but think how fresh the conversation was. We are good friends, no doubt but we don't hang out all that much. When we do, it's the best time ever. So many injokes and so many stories to narrate keeping the mood light and heads high.
Maybe that's the secret to a long, lasting friendship. Not getting to know each other too well, but knowing people well enough. Maybe, being the operative word. I'm still searching for answers. Let's see who benefits from this hitch-hike we call life...
It's one filled with trysts and clandestine...